Congratulations, Totally Tabitha!  You are the 450th cumeater to grace the pages of www.loadmymouth.com. 

Fah who foraze! Dah who doraze!
Welcome cumeater, come this way!
Fah who foraze! Dah who doraze!
Welcome to your sperm-soaked day!

Dr. Suess, you were wise beyond your years…

Tabitha?  Keep sucking, sweetie!  The boomstick is about to go boom again!  Yeeeeaaayyy!!!

In honour of this occasion, I will be temporarily renaming the site www.loadmymouth.cum.

SHE IS HALF MY AGE #5 was just added to VOD at www.hotmovies.com under Brandon Iron Productions.

Here’s a link:  http://www.hotmovies.com/video/136416/She-Is-Half-My-Age-5/?

Scene breakdown:
1. Nikki Kane BG with Joe Blow (facial).
2. Charlotte Vale BG-anal with Steve Holmes (her first day in porn after meeting Steve at a swinger party; facial)
3. Charlote Vale BJ with her master (facial).
4. Kenzi Marie BG with Joe Blow (swallow finish).
5. Charlotte Vale 5-man blowbang (facials).
6. Sierra Snow BG with Steve Holmes (swallow finish).
7. Charlotte Vale rugby scrum with around 20 dudes (facials).
8. Sophia Layne BG-anal with Dirty Harry (swallow finish).

DVD EXTRAS:
1. Samantha Sixx in a 5-man blowbang/swallow from www.spermcocktail.com
2. Talia Tyler sucks, fucks and swallows from www.loadmymouth.com

If you write me at brandoniron_99@yahoo.com and confirm your age, I will give you a code for 30 free minutes at hotmovies.com to check things out.

Enjoy!  Brandon

I went to see an interesting documentary at the Arclight Theater in Hollywood on Friday night. It was part of a screening series for the American Film Institute and I’ll just reprint the description:

Agile, Mobile, Hostile: A Year With Andre Williams (2008)

He’s written and recorded numerous hits and worked with Barry Gordy, Ike Turner and Stevie Wonder, to name a few. But Andre Williams has also struggled with addiction, poverty, and homelessness. This documentary follows as he embarks upon another comeback and faces up to his years of reckless living. 2008 USA 88 minutes Video

You can see the trailer here:
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1847510/agile_mobile_hostile_a_year_with_andre_williams_trailer/

– I really enjoyed parts of this video. It was shot with an HD camcorder and the directors, Tricia Todd and Eric Matthies, attended the screening and did a Q and A with the audience afterwards. It was interesting to hear about how they partied with Andre and followed him to Chicago, Belgrade, Zagreb and New Orleans. Andre battled drug and alcohol abuse but seemed to be well-aware of the toll he was taking on his body as he fought to be able to perform into his seventies. He claimed to have been the one to give Stevie Wonder his name and wrote incredibly raunchy lyrics about sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

Don’t believe me? Check out the opening of “Jail Bait” from 1957:

I’m running
Yes before it’s too late
Trying to get away
From that jail bait

It’s a rough temptation
But a common invitation
And a good association
But a quck elimination
That will take you out of circulation
Yes I’m talking about that younger generation

So take my advice fellas
For goodness sake
15, 16, 17 that’s jail bait

See Andre sing it live on youtube:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbLKDox-iPY

Agile, Mobie, Hostile made me wonder where I was headed with all this gettin’ head-ed. Will I still be worried about women not using their teeth even when I have none myself? On what continent will I be shooting when I become incontinent? And at what age does a man stop jerking off to 20 year old eager beavers?

Hopefully, never. There is a Peter Pan of Porn who wants to never grow up. Jonny Appleseed ain’t got nothing on me. I’m gonna sow my loads from coast to coast, try not to boast, and stay as cool as the cucumbers that are swallowed by the oral artistes eating goo in this perfect porn paradise.

If a black man can be President by winning an election then a white man can get sucked into his Golden years by keeping an erection. YES WE CAN!!! YES WE CAN!!! WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA’AM!! ‘Scuse me, Miss….what’s that? You want more money? NO YOU CAN’T!! NO YOU CAN’T!! Baby, I’d love to tip you but my campaign finance is in need of a little reform if you know what I’m saying. I did a little too much pork barrel spending and I don’t even know what the fuck that is. Now you just help out the economy by tightening that belt on those ridiculously-tight jeans that obviously don’t even need a belt anyways.

Four more years! Four more years! Keep me in my oral office. I will work day and night to — well, I am kinda busy during the day…..but I can definitely swing the night shift……You know what? Come to think about it, this whole Daylight Savings shift has made night start a little bit too early. Add that to global warming and now everything is fucked up. My balls are burning up with lust so don’t tell me about the fucking ice caps. If a polar bear has to die so I can get a quality blowjob, I say we teach those furry bastards to swim! Send that Gold medal dude to teach those blubbery beasts how to do the backstroke. Listen, let’s compromise. I am willing to work from 10pm to 11pm three days a week for the next four years.

Is that good enough for you? Cuz it suits me just fine. No VP for me but there is an opening for a DP for motivated ladies. Send your applications to brandoniron_99@yahoo.com. Just answer if you know whether Africa is a country or a continent, please. I want the highest qualified cocksuckers in my Administration.

proving you are an idiot on myspace.

A friend (defined on myspace as anyone who just clicky-clickys their way into your heart) wrote me saying some guy is posting pics of me and pretending it’s him.  Here’s the original message:

Brandon,thanks for the add. One of the reasons that I wanted you as a friend is to let you know that there is a guy on here posing as you. He initally had me fooled, but he is so pathetic that he is now using the pics of a different adult star and claiming they are just newer pics of you. Visit myspace and look for derick in my friends section and check his pics; you will see all kinds of pics of you…or you can just use this link.  (link now disabled)

Here is the last email exchange that we had so you know that he is really trying to pass himself off as you.

Sorry sweetie I am hon some pics are old but its me sweetie and thanks for the comment loved it so what are you upto and when are you coming for a vist hon.

— Now, I am of two minds when it comes to this.  First, it’s kind of cool that someone actually wants to be me!  If they only knew how shallow I am, I doubt they would want to really become the Ironman.  Secondly, how little do you have to have going on in your life when you have time to impersonate someone else.  Seriously, becoming involved in the porn industry — if that’s your goal — is not like obtaining a Ph.D in physics.  You show up, pay dues, and make opportunities happen for yourself.  Wait….it’s EXACTLY the same as getting a Ph.D.

I am talking out of my ass so it’s time to be quiet now.  Adios.

From SFGate.com:

Please Use Porn Responsibly/Violet Blue’s concerns about the new anti-porn feminist agenda

Far be it from me to attempt a liberal media cover-up of the real dangers
of porn. DVDs have really sharp edges. Like, do not spill Astroglide into
your keyboard. Your hard drive could fill up. Do not lick the monitor;
it’s bad for the screen. Most porn sucks and you will spend hours trying
to find anything worth watching. Caterwauling starlets on higher volumes
might have your neighbors dialing the emergency number for Animal Care and
Control. Wireless mice are not safe for insertion. Re-enacting anything
starring Rocco Siffredi might actually cause someone to lose an eye — be
careful where you point that thing. And I’m deeply worried about the
under-representation of women in gay porn.
   And then there’s the correlation between porn and automobile fatalities.
Linda Lovelace, famous porn star of “Deep Throat” fame died in a car
accident in 2002. Porn star Britney Madison, sometimes known as Britney
Jade, died in a Las Vegas automobile accident in 2005. Adult star Anna
Malle, described by Adam Film World as “one of the great wild women of
porn” died in 2006 as the result of a car crash off state Route 160 in Las
Vegas. These porn-related accidents should obviously serve as cautionary
tales for would-be starlets.
   Porn viewers are equally at risk. A 38-year-old Ohio man reported that his
home was invaded in September 2003. The article says, “The man said he
that was sitting home alone masturbating and watching a pornographic movie
when a man came down into the basement, holding a gun, and started to
videotape him. The man said that before he left, the intruder fed his dog
some mushrooms and the dog died.” Poor dog. What’s worse, porn might even
stop your heart. This completely weird research studysays that having sex
in a “hasty situation” makes you more likely to have a coronary incident
and die. Last month, Australian researchers claimed a link between
clinical depression and an online sex life. “1,325 men from the U.S and
Australia were surveyed about their Internet sex habits, which might
include trolling for porn, participating in online chats, or doing things
with webcams.”
   There is actually no limit to the ways in which this four-letter word
ruins lives. On July 17, 1990, Daryl E. Porn, a Connecticut resident, was
involved in an automobile accident in Portland, Maine, when motorist Lori
Willoughby sped through a stop sign and broadsided his vehicle. See, you
just have to be called porn to find yourself in a life-threatening
situation.
   Of course, any thinking person knows that these anecdotes are just that,
anecdotes. The correlation between porn use and making freaky death and
depression actually happen in real life is hardly valid.
   But when people like the extremist feminist group Stop Porn Culture tells
us that porn is harmful, their arguments make just as much sense as the
ones above. Never mind the fact that SPC is a traveling anti-porn road
show that displays over a hundred extreme hardcore images to all comers
(no puns; they don’t check IDs at the door, nor do they provide the
federally required documentation to show that none of their sexually
explicit images include children). They perpetuate myths and
unsubstantiated claims that porn — they say all porn, but only show us
the really extreme stuff — is responsible for exploiting women, providing
dead-end economic choices for young girls, fostering racism, fostering
hatred and degradation of women, and they totally totally promise (while
admitting on their own Web site that there is no hard evidence) that porn
is a causal factor in rape, child abuse and domestic violence.
   And SPC also plays that great old ditty, stating that all porn performers
must have been abused as children. Isn’t this all just so adorably retro,
coming from a 2008 organization? Awww. It’s sweet that people can still be
so naive in these jaded times. I want to give them a cookie and pat them
on the head like children telling me Herbie is real when SPC states that
in porn “abuse an exploitation of women is common.” Mostly, I want to
introduce them to Sasha Grey who said:
   ”I performed my first sex scene on May 1st, 2006, in The Fashionistas 2:
Safado. Although I have come a long way since then, many people in society
believe that I am a victim. I was not sexually abused. I am not on drugs.
The acts I perform are always consensual. I am a woman who strongly
believes in what she does — it is time that our society comes to grips
with the fact that ‘normal’ people (women especially) enjoy perverse sex.”
   If correlation were equal to causation, organizations like SPC would be
right. Porn would be the cause of all rape. I’d also be able to blame porn
for killing Gerard Damiano of natural causes last month. I could also
categorically state that porn was responsible for my friend’s body issues
(because everyone wants huge scary immovable porn chick breasts). And the
economy? Well, if porn hadn’t saturated our society with “industries of
sexual exploitation” then no one would have painted the Wall Street bulls’
balls blue, leading to the humiliation and exploitation of everyone on
Wall Street and sending the Dow into a money shot of a tailspin.
   It’s anti-porn logic, people. And it’s awesome! It’s all is based on the
assumption that there is no such thing as healthy porn use, and that
there’s no such thing as healthy porn. And that all porn is the same, and
that the mainstream porn industry isn’t being killed by the Internet
giving us all, finally, freedom of choice and we don’t have to watch
things that makes us go “ew” anymore because that’s all they carry at the
local Jack Shack. Please, no one tell them the truth. Someone’s got to
keep the millions of us normal, porn-loving peoples of all genders, races
and sexual orientations entertained with a little haunted house fiction.
   It’s not just the logic at SPC that kept me coming back for laughs. It’s
important to really savor the “new” face of the anti-porn movement,
especially since we’re finally getting the Bible-thumping extremists out
of the White House. At Stop Porn Culture, they give us the history of the
feminist anti-porn movement, citing Dworkin and MacKinnon as their
lineage, and give us the vision of a world where the great tradition of
stopping sexual abuse of women and children is possible in their mission.
Their board of directors (some of whom also star in their upcoming film
“The Price of Pleasure” as “experts”) hail from colleges around the
nation. Links from SPC’s Web site lead to their MySpace and YouTube pages,
have DIY instructions on doing your own anti-porn presentations (though
you gotta promise you’re over 18 to see the images, m’kay?). Links offsite
also lead to a site called “The No Porn Pledge” (owned by Patty Valentine,
aka “One Angry Girl”), and is part of throughtheflame.org, an anti-porn
nonprofit — and all of the Web sites in the ring categorically state that
they “do not promote any particular religion or ideology.” The funny thing
is, when you scratch the domain lookup surface it’s just like the
anti-porn feminist history they claim, where the ‘ists were in bed with
the church: Stop Porn Culture is registered and owned by Skyward-bound
Productions, specializing “in serving churches and other nonprofit
organizations get the materials they need to help spread the ministry of
Jesus Christ.”
   The real low-down dirty shame isn’t that John Waters isn’t directing porn
(okay, it doe make me cry myself to sleep every night). The real shame and
harm is that organizations like SPC are so busy with their questionable
beliefs — and truly exploitative tactics — that no one even gets a
chance to find out that no, you shouldn’t imitate what you see in porn:
It’s not safe sex. The sexual fantasies portrayed in porn — especially
the extreme ones — like all adult sexual situations, require context
(which is exactly what SPC removes).
   And most of all, that people should be given the opportunity to use porn
responsibly like alcohol, cars, or the Internet. Or pilfered hardcore
images. Got that, SPC?

Every man must leave a legacy. For some, it’s a son or daughter. For others, a lifetime of good deeds and service to others. Mine will be the pics in this thread detailing the tender folds of female roast beef lips and the kinky wrinkles surrounding anal tunnels to Colontown. Some of you may look at these images and wonder, “Why?” I say these holes are miracle workers. They fill a void within each of us. “But how can a hole fill a void?” you ask. “You have just taken the first step, my friend. The first step.”

I ask only for you to keep an open mind….but not as open as some gapers. Please keep your minds three quarters as open as the gapers, please.

Thank you. Without further interruption, I give you…..STARFISH AND HONEYPOTS: A ROGUE’S GALLERY OF PUSSIES, POOPERS, AND ROADMAPS TO THE PLEASUREDOME. Enjoy.

Pics here:  http://tinyurl.com/5se4np

My jaw hit the floor when I visited www.clips4sale.com and found a pirate who had ripped off my content along with content taken from Jules Jordan, Anabolic, Diabolic, Pariah Pictures, and Peter North.  It wasn’t hard to find and he claimed to have licensed it….which turned out to be a lie.  His store was shut down and I hope he stays out of business.  It’s hard enough these days to keep producing in a legal way.   Piracy hurts everyone in the long run.  If you ever find a producer’s content illegally uploaded on a site, please at least consider sending a link to the legit content owner.  Sermon over.  Enjoy your day, pay it forward, and look both ways before crossing the street.

Fans of Jimi Hendrix should definitely check out the tribute concert series.  Last night, I went to the Greek Theater in Hollywood to see the Experience Hendrix Tour featuring Mitch Mitchell, Billy Cox, Buddy Guy, Kenny Wayne Shepperd, Eric Johnson, Robby Krieger, and many others play the classics.  The concert finished with Hey Joe with everyone on stage.

Good times!!

For more info:  http://www.experiencehendrixtour.com/schedule.php

Hope everyone enjoyed their Halloween with lots of tricks and treats.  I saw the world’s only all-female Black Sabbath tribute band, Mistress of Reality, at a local bar in Reseda.  They really put on a good show and their bassist is hot as fuck.

If you are the CEO of a multimillion dollar corporation and want to stir things up at the next corporate function, contact them here:  http://www.mistressofreality.org

Just letting everyone know that HOOKERS AND BLOW #2 (shot in Prague) is now available on VOD at www.jerkoffzone.com.

Enjoy!

Brandon