I’ve had several emails from fans today asking for the low down on my b/g shoot yesterday and details on how the film in which the scene will appear (“Angel”) is progressing.  And since my MySpace account has been deleted (I guess the pictures I posted from yesterday’s shoot were too risqué.  I can’t wait to have galleries on the sweetheart website!) the time seemed ripe for another blog update.

For those of you who don’t know, my b/g scene will be edited as a quick soft core interlude, in addition to the usual explicit, hardcore girl/girl scenes in the film.  My costar was Manuel Ferrara, who is known for his seductive, romantic, intense performances.  He’s a very passionate performer, so he was perfect for the role.  After all, I needed someone who could make love like an actual boyfriend might; not just do porn trash talk and squirt cum on me.  Manuel did a fantastic job not only with the sex scene but with the dialogue too – his interpretation of his character was dead on.

The experience of doing b/g for me was probably a little different than for girls who do it all the time.  First of all, I had already met and befriended Manuel and so I felt pretty comfortable going in.  It felt more like preparing for a romantic rendezvous than for a porn scene.  The one thing I was worried about was whether my “technical” performance would be any good – after all, I rarely make love to men, even in my personal life.  But Manuel guided me through the technical issues specific to The Penis, all the while making me feel as if he were totally focused on me and we were actually making love.  Manuel is like a latter day Don Juan; a passionate lover of women, sex and romance, and for the time you are with him, he is fully yours.    

In the ways that count most, my boy/girl scene wasn’t much different than a Sweetheart Video girl/girl scene.  I was able to focus on my partner and let myself experience it as a true sexual encounter, just as I do with another girl.  That said, it’s probably more physically demanding and emotionally intense to be with a guy.  I’m still analyzing why that might be.  It could be because Manuel made me squirt, which is something I’ve never done in my entire life. (Not even Nina Hartley got me there with all of her toys and gadgets and expertise, so I’m pretty impressed!  I’ll have to edit the scene as a separate hardcore version so interested fans can check it out if they wanna see.)    

Other scenes we shot yesterday involved the star of the film, Alex McKay. Alex plays the title role of Angel, and her real life partner Zoe plays her girlfriend in the film.  It’s been interesting working with Alex and Zoe.  They’re both completely lesbian, not bisexual, and they’ve never done any work in the adult industry before.  They sometimes call me late at night with questions or just to talk and get reassurance.  It’s been interesting terrain for them to navigate, and it’s almost like culture shock for them and for me.  We speak two different languages.  For instance, in my world its fine and even desirable for someone to take off all their clothes at a party; in their world, people who do that are 5150’d.  Sometimes they don’t understand me or something I’ve said, and it occurs to me that my life is pretty wild these days, even though I stay home most nights writing and reading and listening to Bach or Scott Joplin.  My extreme moments are very extreme.  Sex with Manuel Ferrara or Kylie Ireland; then home to Palos Verdes, nature hikes and solitude.  My candle burns at both ends, it does not last the night… but gives a lovely light! I think the poem goes.  (Edna St. Vincent Millay)   

Physically I’m feeling good, if a little sore today.  I had a wonderful experience with Manuel doing the scene, and while I can’t imagine I’d do it again with any other performer (other than Manuel) I’m glad I had the experience.  It was exciting and expansive and sexy, and I learned I could squirt.  But now I must get back to my girls and to lesbian sex, and so I shall… I have my film interpretation of “Lolita” to gear up for next, and I can’t wait.  Lesbian Nabokov – really, what could be better to a perverted geek girl than that? 

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